DEPRESSION
It feels like being trapped in a slippery sided well and forever trying to climb out but slipping back down. Sometimes I seem to slip back down so fast that I bounce and land higher than when I slipped. And it goes on and on.
I now know that none of the abuse and humiliation I have suffered have been my fault. I have spent years trying to find how I was to blame so I could find control. I was raped when I was 8 years old and somehow believed that I caused it – why else did it happen to me?
I am writing this for therapy, and yes, once again trying to gain control, but I feel this is a much more positive way. I am not focusing on the shame I have felt from the years of abuse or trying to push myself to “be normal.” I am doing this for self preservation and peace.
Thank you for visiting my blog. My hopes for my blog is to help me heal as well. Keep writing!
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You’re a winner, a total bad-ass Kirsty. Throwing shame into the bin like that, is no easy task. Check out this interview here with Wesley Chapman whom overcame the same childhood and is now helping kids with a variety of issues. His insight is quite unique and deep:
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Thank you for taking time to look at my blog.
Throwing away your shame is very liberating – it’s amazing how many people I talk with who know someone who is depressed – often ends up they’re talking about themselves.
Thank you for the youtube link – Get the feeling that it’s pertinent to both of us.
Kirsty
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I am sorry for all the destruction I caused in your life. This has left me speechless. I do know if you are still keeping track of this vlog. But if you need to tell at me or just need to talk to someone. Let me know.
Alan
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And the best way to heal is helping others and I am sure far too many have had similar experiences and will gain much from your courageous openness. Creativity is a great therapist!
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Thank you.
I’m just trying to find a way of stopping this happening to anyone else.
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Great motivation! 🙂
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You are a brave woman to share your journey with us. Keep writing and don’t forget to breathe 😉
XxX
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Thank you.
Don’t know how to stop this happening to someone else.
I received this special treatment because they thought I was a lot more mentally ill than I am and couldn’t fight back.
xx
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you re-followed me Kirsty! Are you a glutton for punishment or what?!!
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Thank you for following my blog! I really admire you for writing about your situation and pray that you will find peace!
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You are raising like a phoenix. Your humourous writing is the testimony to that 😉
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Thank you.
Your photos are wonderful and I love your joy when you get a box.
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Well done! Writing is such great outlet for our hearts …… it can bring such great healing. Glad to meet you and thank you for the follow. 😀
cate b
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Thank you for taking the time to write. I found your piece on fear enormously helpful.
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Wow. Thank you for the encouragement. Many blessings to you and your journey. ❤
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May your peace be sweet and your control carefree! Thanks for following OMBH… I do hope you come away with a smile or two when you visit! 😉
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Yes, love your photographic take on Dublin. Wonderful city. Remember I met a lovely man there who was fascinating and told me to wait a minute. He came back wearing his chains of office so I got loads of photos with him.
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Gosh… pity I didn’t meet you too… only thing, I don’t have bling!!
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Yes, it would have been great.
I could have introduced you to the mayor.
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Alice in Chains?? 😉
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Whose Alice? The mayor was a bloke!
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Just messing!
AJ at Ouch My Back Hurts
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OMG are you telling me that the mayor was a lady and I had my photo taken with an imposter? Could this have been the ominous city hall handy man who ran in and stole the mayor’s chain of office and fancy cape – stopping only to admire his reflection – before having said photo with hapless tourist.
The shame….
…why have you chained up Alice?
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For the fun of it… wasn’t me… was the leprechauns… they did it!
AJ at Ouch My Back Hurts
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Thanks for following Meenas Poems.
Depression should not eat us . We should conquer it with wit and wisdom.
Love the way you write.
All the best.
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Thank you.
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HI Kirsty, Thank you for following my blog. I wish you every success with your writing and with your healing process. All the very best. Take care 🙂
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Thank you and Happy Easter
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Thanks for following my blog. 🙂 May the Lord continue to bless you and your family. Happy Easter!
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Happy Easter.
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Thanks! 🙂
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Your flash fiction and prose is full of wit and you had me chuckling over your take on the mythology characters. May your journey through writing bring about an uplifting self preservation.
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Thank you – and if I’m miserable I just go to your site. Incredible, it looks like paradise. Be interesting to see what enters your garden. The baboon troupe photos are amazing.
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Very happy to have you visiting my paradise 🙂
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thank you for the kind follow. I love you take on mythological peoples. Those pieces of flash fiction are a delight. And don’t give up on your novel. I haven’t read the chapter but there’s always a way, believe me.
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Really enjoy reading your musings. Thank you for following me back.. Glad you read the mythological stuff and enjoyed it. Don’t bother with the novel!!!! Am now writing a book about a fictional famous agony aunt and it’s a lot more fun.
Best wishes
Kirsty
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