It feels like being trapped in a slippery sided well and forever trying to climb out but slipping back down.  Sometimes I seem to slip back down so fast that I bounce and land higher than when I slipped.  And it goes on and on.

I now know that none of the abuse and humiliation I have suffered have been my fault.  I have spent years trying to find how I was to blame so I could find control.  I was raped when I was 8 years old and somehow believed that I caused it – why else did it happen to me?

I am writing this for therapy, and yes, once again trying to gain control, but I feel this is a much more positive way.  I am not focusing on the shame I have felt from the years of abuse or trying to push myself to “be normal.”  I am doing this for self preservation and peace.


36 thoughts on “About

  1. You’re a winner, a total bad-ass Kirsty. Throwing shame into the bin like that, is no easy task. Check out this interview here with Wesley Chapman whom overcame the same childhood and is now helping kids with a variety of issues. His insight is quite unique and deep:


    1. Thank you for taking time to look at my blog.
      Throwing away your shame is very liberating – it’s amazing how many people I talk with who know someone who is depressed – often ends up they’re talking about themselves.

      Thank you for the youtube link – Get the feeling that it’s pertinent to both of us.



  2. And the best way to heal is helping others and I am sure far too many have had similar experiences and will gain much from your courageous openness. Creativity is a great therapist!


      1. OMG are you telling me that the mayor was a lady and I had my photo taken with an imposter? Could this have been the ominous city hall handy man who ran in and stole the mayor’s chain of office and fancy cape – stopping only to admire his reflection – before having said photo with hapless tourist.
        The shame….
        …why have you chained up Alice?


  3. thank you for the kind follow. I love you take on mythological peoples. Those pieces of flash fiction are a delight. And don’t give up on your novel. I haven’t read the chapter but there’s always a way, believe me.


    1. Really enjoy reading your musings. Thank you for following me back.. Glad you read the mythological stuff and enjoyed it. Don’t bother with the novel!!!! Am now writing a book about a fictional famous agony aunt and it’s a lot more fun.
      Best wishes


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