Mine turned up one night. Ponced a cigerette and then declared he was flying off on important business the following day. Ok, YUK. Dodgy Australian wanting a one night stand.
Not reading my general, “get away from me signals.” He continued to make awkard conversation.
I resorted to my never fail fall back tactic which retells my ordeal on a 15 hour flight to Chile during which I sat next to Hannibal Lecter who ate the placenta of his first born.
He then said he had had a really long flight – I was right, he missed his hotel reservation. Cheeky sod.
Fade in, fade out.
He’s still talking.
and fade out.
Then he said something that blew my mind. I had to get the hell out of there.
Somehow his eyes made me feel safe.
THEN MY LIFE TURNED TO SHIT!!!!!!!