OK Leftie.  Let’s get ready.

Raise your heel.  Feel the weight and push.  Push harder.  Lift with all of your might.

Now wiggle your toes.  Faster.  Get them pumping.  Faster, faster.  Feel like they’re going to explode with anticipation.

Now stretch.  Relax.  Stretch again.  Come on Leftie, put your sole into it.  Really go for it.

We’re off.  Faster man, faster.  Run as fast as you possibly can.  Clear your mind.  Just feel the pounding pavement and the wind rushing by.

We’ve won.  We’ve won.

Where is my medal?

Chest gets the medal Leftie.  We’re just part of the team.


My Shed

It has been a difficult year.  Harry, my 11 year old son, discovered explosives during last year’s summer school break.  8 weeks of apologizing, to neighbors and friends, when their garden sheds had been blown up.  Using my scant savings to reimburse their loses.

Harry spends every other weekend with his very well off father.  But, did he blow anything up there?  Of course not.  Harry is too enchanting when he is with his father.  Two peas in a pod.

He just didn’t care.  His dad said he could work for him when he leaves school and his dad said school work isn’t relevant to the workplace.  I admit I was stumped when Harry asked me if I used algebra on a daily basis in my job.

So, in desperation I brought myself a shed and made a deal with my little devil.

If Harry came in from school and completed all homework, he could have the house to himself on Wednesday evenings from 6pm until 10:30pm

To begin with it was a learning curve.  I made sure that I had left a healthy dinner and snacks for Harry and his friends.  These were never eaten so now Harry cooks everyone junk food.

Originally, Harry just brought his two best chums home, but tonight, by 6pm, there were 6 pubescent boys.  Harry isn’t home yet so they are enchanting me with tales of their sporting prowess.

The minute Harry comes in I will hide in my shed.  Each month I have been buying myself a little shed gift.  It now has carpet, a comfortable chair and small work top.  An extension cable runs through the garden and powers my kettle, microwave and lamp.

A good friend put in a little window that faces my rose bush – not the house, I don’t want to know what goes on.

At 10:40 I go back into my home.  So far, it has always been clean – all rubbish taken outside.  A few breakages have happened but these have been declared and apologized for.

Harry always greets me alone – friends have never overstayed – and he always gives me his. Harry smile.  The same smile I loved in his father.

There is only one downside.  Several times I have met parents at the school and been acknowledged as, “the woman in the shed.”

A small price to pay for our harmonious, happy home.


Bottom Burps

I like to do a bottom burp
It sets me up for the day
A yawn, a stretch and a bottom burp
Just sends me on my way

I lie in bed just waiting
For the moment to arise
And if I’m lying with someone
I pretend it’s a surprise

Oh bottom burp you little thing
You noxious ball of fun
I wait for you to greet me now
Yes, now my day’s begun.


Oswald is building a fine home.  His family had had to leave their old place last spring.

He had spent ages working out the dimensions so that there would be adequate room inside but he still worried about the tilt of the roof.

Oswald enjoyed layering the slabs.  The feel of the material tingling against his skin.

He worked slowly and with great skill.

He hopes that his wife will be less modern in her interior design this time.

Oswald prefers furnishings with a more traditional feel.

Oswald steps back to admire his work.

He smiles proudly.

The igloo is finished.