Harvey didn’t really know his father. He thought he was some big noise but he wasn’t aware of them ever really bonding.
Harvey thought this may give him issues in his further life, but why worry now? At the moment his wonderful mother was his world.
She would sit with him day and night. Nurturing him. Keeping him warm and protecting him when the wind was howling and the rain was bucketing down.
She was his shield. Her love and attention kept him whole.
This meant Harvey was truly content. He felt important and adored.
But then, one day, Harvey hatched.
“Come on. Come on Archie.” His dad is softly calling.
Archie runs as fast as he can and holds his father’s hand. Their hands now sticky where Archie’s sweet bonds them.
Archie feels his little heart beating in his chest. He is trembling with pain. He tries to be The Little Man, like his dad says, but his tears won’t stop flowing.
Archie feels total despair. His world is falling apart. His toddler soul is burdened with misery.
He knows that his whole life from today is ruined.
“Dad,” he cries. “Dad. Why wouldn’t that bigger boy get off the swing?”
His toupee is doing a Mexican wave.
He is surrounded by a thousand naked dancers spray painted gold. Classy, he thinks.
He lovingly looks at his wife who is wearing the most expensive outfit money can buy. He marvels at how wonderfully cheap she makes it look. A sure sign of quality.
Hordes of adorning fans fester on the White House lawn awaiting his words of wisdom.
Shit, thinks Donald, I’ve forgotten my speech.
He rushes into the Oval Office and presses the red button to summon his butler.
I was chatting with a friend recently about getting back onto the dating scene. She said was I ready? Last relationship didn’t end well. I realized I was dating a twonkwad.
A twonkwad is someone you throw out and 3 days later they turn up like nothing happened. A twonkwad suggests you start dating again, as they have given you sufficient time to reflect on your brash behaviour. I sort of feel bad as fell out of love with him when he lied to me. Then spent the last three months trying to rekindle a relationship that was dead. I learned that you can’t force yourself to feel a certain way. Think I may have confused love with Stockholm syndrome. Twonkwad – just made that up.
Woman Looking For Man:
Must be a twonkwad.
Hefty chaps need only apply – as long as have self-proclaimed appetite of a sparrow.
Must have ability to wind people up and be truly offended when they are rude back.
Victim mentality an asset.
Advantageous if always right.
A real plus if you can talk over anyone you don’t agree with.
Questionable sexual fetishes.
If anyone fancies dating a twonkwad please contact me for details.
My gaze rests upon the Office Adonis. My pulse racing. My heart begins to flutter. This unique specimen of manliness. This buffed chest shirt filler. There is the smallest hint of muscle sensuously contained – fighting to be explored.
He stares back at me. His penetrating brown eyes bury deep within my soul.
I turn sideways to show my thinness profile. Stomach in, shoulders back.
His absent gaze continues. He is obviously fantasizing about my forbidden fruit.
I list seductively towards him. I misjudge my angle – over balance – and fall at his feet.
He steps over me. His aroma intoxicating as he walks away.